


Selflessness

by NerdyCJ



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Voldemort Wins, Blood and Gore, Death, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay, Mpreg, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-09-01 05:28:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20252911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyCJ/pseuds/NerdyCJ
Summary: What if after Fred's untimely death, Harry throws in the towel far sooner then in canon under Hermione and Ron's noses?  Work in progress. Please critique my work, I want this to be finely polished once finished.





	1. Reckless love

_Pushing Hermione and Ron ahead of him. Harry stopped to seize Fred’s body under the armpits. Percy, realizing what Harry was trying to do, stopped clinging to the body and helped; together, crouching low to avoid the curses flying around them from the grounds, they hauled Fred out of the way. “Here” said Harry, and they placed him in a niche where a suit of armor had stood earlier. He could not bear to look at Fred a second longer then required, and after making sure the body was well hidden, he took off _opposite_ of Hermione and Ron. _

Harry couldn’t put another person he cared for in danger, Fred’s haunting yet gleeful expression jumping to the forefront of his mind. The sooner he ended this the better, and he knew Hermione and Ron were capable of staying safe amongst the mist of war. Harry couldn’t let them recognize what he was planning, knowing they would delay him or try to convince him otherwise. Approaching the rubble blocking the majority of the corridor, he ducked behind a large slab of stone for cover of passing spells through the gaping hole in the wall. Cool air breezed in, chilling the sticky blood upon his face and sweat dripping down his brow.

Breathing deeply, Harry pulled the cloak over his body, covering everything evenly. Edging around the rubble, the soles of his feet and fingertips slip clean of the cloak, allowing better grip as he steadily climbed around the stones, the noise of rocks crumbling under his feet and hands drowned by the surrounding battles. Spells hitting stone around him, he worked harder at trying to clear the rubble, reaching the end of the blockade towards the room of requirement. What felt like forever, he finally cleared the mess; Harry’s palms bleeding from bits of stone and debris.

Down the now cleared corridor, he grasped the cloak around himself firmly, passing the destroyed room of requirement and still knocked out Goyle. Rushing down the cracked staircase at the end of the corridor, he carefully maneuvered past death eaters on the stairway. Deep voices mumbling between the pair, they failed to notice Harry squeezing past them along the wall as they discussed strategy. Harry focused on his mission, needing to get outside quickly to reach the forest before Voldemort grew more impatient. At the bottom of the stairs, Harry slipped his wand out of his pocket, holding it defensively yet firmly as he maneuvered past groups of fighting pairs. It was difficult to distinguish who was fighting who. He managed to find another hole of rubble at main floor level after a bit of wondering. Harry sped past it, stepping over a female slumped. Her body bloody and mangled beyond recognition outside of tan bits of flesh poking out from under the stones.

Swallowing, his throat feeling dry and tight at the sight, he refocused on reaching the forest. Running through the grassy grounds, he danced around gaping holes in the dirt, avoiding the approaching trolls and spiders a few feet away heading towards the schools’ main entrance. The copper scent of blood draining his senses as he breathed deeply, his stride wide and aggressive with purpose. If he could reach the tree line he could rest for a bit.

_Would it hurt to die? His will to live had always been so much stronger than his fear of death. Yet it did not occur to him now to try to escape, to outrun Tom. It was over, he knew it; and all that was left was the thing itself: dying. _

Riddle wanted him. Harry had hoped, perhaps naively, he could negotiate for everyone’s safety if he turned himself in. Tom was manipulative, deceitful, but he did value magic. He did sound regretful earlier, regarding the loss of magical blood when he called out to Harry. Harry was just so exhausted of loss surrounding him, leaving him more isolated year after year compared to his peers. He could die for those he loved. It was honorable.

Reaching the tree line, he kneeled, panting heavily as he collected his thoughts. His head swarmed with pain and anxiety, his mind flashing through thoughts of his chosen family and friends. His reservations built up in his gut, threating to spill out his eyes as he teared up. He hoped they could forgive him for dragging them though so much pain and destruction by simply knowing him. He hoped they could find happiness either under Voldemort’s reign or outside Europe.

His trembling right hand lifted to rest over his pounding chest, and he felt the pouch settled over his sternum. Reaching into the bag, he pulled out the shinning ball of gold. It glimmered mutely; the surrounding sounds of war dulled into a buzzing noise around him as he considered it closely. Harry must die, this had to end. _I open at the close. _Harry felt like he was losing his mind, coming to the realization that Dumbledore must have known this truth. Dumbledore didn’t intend for Harry to win this war; Harry must have needed to surrender at the right moment. He felt almost numb, that Dumbledore hadn’t really cared for him as he thought the old man had. Harry pressed his lips to the golden sphere, whispering “I am about to die.”

The snitch broke into two, and Harry grasped it into one palm carefully, bringing Draco’s wand up with his opposite hand and nudging the two halves apart, revealing a cool black stone. The resurrection stone sat upon his palm, the hallows engraved in the center. He understood that this must have been a consolation prize from Dumbledore. He wouldn’t really have his parents with him, but having them near would bring some sort of closure. Harry turned the stone thrice, green hues glancing around eagerly awaiting his parents and perhaps Sirius.

The first to appear was his father, then his mother and finally Sirius. It was crazy to think his parents were not much older than him at death, it felt oddly reassuring to see them so young and haunting. Sirius looked much more fit and youthful then when he passed, his ghostly eyes gleamed with happiness looking down at Harry. Apparently, they could see him through deaths cloak. _‘’ you’ve been so brave.”_ His mother looked proud and hungry at his form, longing in her expression. He wished he could embrace her. _“You are nearly there, we are so proud of you”_ Harry turned his face towards his father, he looked so much like Harry but wearing lopsided glasses.

_“Does dying hurt?”_ Harry couldn’t shake the anxiety in his chest, the childish question parting from his lips. He craved reassurance, and the stone in his palm could feel it. Eager to bring death to its young master.

_“Dying? Not at all. Quicker and easier then falling asleep”_ Sirius reassured quickly. _“He wants it to be quick, over.”_

“I didn’t want any of you to die. I don’t want anyone to die. This was my fight. I am so sorry.” Harry focused on Sirius; the stone warm in his palm. “I should have been more careful. You didn’t have to fall through the veil.”

“Its okay Harry. You will join us soon.” All three specters reassured, all their expressions loving. “We will be with you until the very end.”

Harry looked down at the stone, finding it a little odd his family was so eager to see him pass on. Perhaps there was more to this magic then he knew. Shrugging it off, he took a deep breath, lifting Draco’s wand ahead of him and murmuring Expectro Patronum. Allowing the warmth of his families love to distract from the growing numbness his impending death brought him. His stag shone bright and proudly, peering down at him expectantly.

“This message is for Tom Riddle. Tell him I am here. I wish to negotiate the terms of my death.” The stag nodded whisking away through the trees. Standing, Harry stretched out his sore muscles, facing the depth of the forest. Turning the stone in his palm, his family faded away, and he repocketed the stone and the snitch pieces into his pouch. Taking a wide step forward, he refitted the cloak to fit his body evenly, moving to greet death like an old friend.


	2. Hurts like hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was painful to write but I hope it turned out cohesive. Let me know if it needs any more love.

Harry aimlessly wondered the forest for some time, the drying blood on his head and brow making it difficult to blink. Closing his eyes, he focused on the dull throbbing in his head. Slowly the dull roar of war in the distance and the natural sounds of the forest were drowned out. Perspective shifting, Harry gasped softly, merging into Voldemort’s mind. He was standing in the middle of a clearing, Lucius and Severus silently standing before him with a few death eaters scattered about. Narcissa off to the side with a concerned expression on her delicate face. Bellatrix was grinding her teeth in frustration as she peered through the dense trees of the forest, seeming to search for someone, possibly Harry. Nagini coiled around Tom’s feet like a loyal pet, her amber hues resting on Lucius.

  
“Do you think the boy is really coming, my lord?” Lucius seemed paler than usual; his slivery hair pinned up in a messy ponytail. Regret deep in his silver hues, he and his wife seemed to be silently concerned for their heir. The sun had started to set, tinting the scene a light orange through the dense expanse of the forest.

  
“That was his Patronus.” Severus drawled out; his expression blank as he crossed cloaked arms across his thin frame. “Perhaps we should send a search party, my lord?”

  
Toms face seemed as passive as possible, fingers twirling the elder wand between long slender fingers. “Bella, you seem on edge. Would you be amicable to escorting our guest of honor to our little get together?” Voldemort had begrudging admiration for the feisty pureblood woman. She gifted him so much this past year, and despite her loosing his priceless horcrux she took her punishment without complaint. Her loyalty remained unmatched. Doe like eyes pierce his ocher ones, wide with crazed excitement. “Anything for you my lord” Bellatrix breathed with reverence, slowly stepping closer to her lord.  
“Get him here unharmed.” Tom gazed down at her fiercely, his slited eyes focused on her face. “You can be as creative as you like” he amended; well aware his death eaters were watching him interestedly. He never showed his fondness for Bella so openly, but the crazed witch had a certain charm. Bowing at the waist slightly, she twirls on her heel, seemingly skipping into the dense expanse of the woodland. A cackling laugh echoed in the wood and Tom turned his gaze on Severus.

  
With a gasp, the world refocused for Harry, his legs wobbling unsteadily as a rush of sound returned to his ears. Scrunching his nose slightly, he took a few steps to get steady. Surprisingly the distant cackle of Bellatrix laugh echoing to him giving him a sense of direction. Quietly, he followed the noise, careful to maneuver with the sides of his feet over the dense foliage to dampen the noise of his steps as her laughter grew closer. He kept to the edge of the sound, hoping to bypass Bellatrix but use her like a compass towards their makeshift camp.

  
Bellatrix came into view, using what Harry recognized as the Blackthorn wand to guide as it hovered before her pointing her in his direction. A sharp breath escapes Harry’s lips, as he quickens his pace. As her wand seems to turn, heading the way she came from, Bellatrix seemed a bit confused. “Potter, are you here?” burnt umber optics slide every which way, looking for a sign of the youths’ presence. Without paying much mind to his footpath, he accidently cracks a twig freezing in terror as Bellatrix snaps her head in the direction of the sound.

  
“Under your wrapper Potter?” Bellatrix taunts, a small giggle passing her lips in amusement. Plucking the wand from its hovering position, she aims in his general direction, a cruel smirk parting her lips as she breaths “Crucio”. Harry drops to the ground, unsure where the spell may direct but trying to avoid being hit. Rustling a bush that grazes along his back in the process. Bellatrix starts running; closing in the distance between them. Her wild hair bouncing eagerly as she aims her wand a little below the bush, directly upon him, the cloak the only thing between them. “Should I stay and play or truss you up like a pig for the pit?”  
Harry grits his teeth in silent frustration and pain, deep scratches down his back from branches cutting past his robes. She nudges with her foot, the tip of her boot hitting his knees. Leaning in, she reaches for the cloak concealing him blindly, curiosity gleaming in her crazed eyes. Harry rolls sideways, avoiding her grasp as he stands, taking off in the direction she seemed to have came from. He needed time to stash the cloak, if he was going to be taken to Voldemort he couldn’t let Tom’s lackeys have something so priceless.

  
Bellatrix feels his knees roll away, and she grasps air, a frustrated groan building in her slim throat. “Very well played kid” She sprints after him, following moving branches and the sound of breaking twigs.  
Harry hides behind a small gathering of boulders, ripping the cloak off and stuffing it into the pouch on his chest, thankful it didn’t expand with its contents. Tucking it into his shirt, he squares up, taking a moment for breath before darting back out. Draco’s wand clutched in his fist as he lifts it, green eyes narrowed in concentration. “Expelliarmus!” Harry attempts, missing her wand hand by inches as she continued to up race behind him. “Incarcerous” Bellatrix counters, catching Harry by the ankle and he falls to his knees as the thin cords wrap up his knees, binding him tightly.  
“What do you expect to gain by surrendering boy?” Bellatrix seemed incredulous, twitching her wand once more she floats him ahead of her, unbothered if twigs from trees whip around his face, his glasses barely on his face perched by the end of his nose.

  
After some time, she unceremoniously drops him in a clearing, the dimming skylight supplemented by campfire light. Disoriented by fresh blood in his eyes and the stinging sensation on his face, Harry peers around blurrily trying to come to grips with his surroundings. He thinks he hears Snape cursing, and he sees possibly Nagini making its way towards him curiously. The massive snakes head bumping against his scar, causing it to throb with intensity.

  
“Well done” Voldemort praises Bellatrix softly, but Harry can’t move well enough to search the darkening clearing for a glimpse of the man.

  
“You smell like us” Nagini hisses with a surprised inclination, her tongue flickering over his scar and Harry flinches, overstimulated by pain and adrenaline. He sincerely hoped he wasn’t going down as her dinner. “I didn’t realize before” She continues, Voldemort taking notice and closing in on the pair.

  
“Realize?” Tom encourages his familiar, pale feet close enough now. Harry closes his eyes, trying to focus through his pain to understand as well. The parseltongue difficult to make out with her broken grasp of language. “He smells like master” Nagini clarifies “No kill this boy.”

  
Voldemort hums what seems as thoughtfully, the snaking backing away from Harry as she moves towards the direction of the warm fire. “That does explain a few things. How easily we share a connection” Voldemort ponders out loud, breaking the silence in the clearing as his followers tried to make sense of the hissing. “Severus, come heal the boy. I can’t have him slipping away quite yet. You can barely make out his face, I’m surprised he can breathe through the blood.”

  
Harry rattles a breath, green eyes opening tiredly. Why was his end being prolonged? He gave them what they wanted. He hoped Hogwarts could keep it together just a while longer. Wincing as Snapes silhouette drew close, his vision clears up as a wand is pressed against his numerous wounds, sealing them with murmured spell work. The blood upon his face is spelled clean, only leaving the dull throbbing of his scar. Harry struggles to sit up, the cords around his legs and waist making the endeavor impossible. He glares up at Severus, fury overwhelming any humiliation or frightened emotions swelling in the back of his head. “Traitor” Harry spits out. Snape blankly looks away from the boy to look upon his master, dark eyes careful to conceal any emotion.

  
“What are you planning on my lord?” Severus drones cautiously. Ebony wand flicking over his shoulder, lifting Harry into a supported standing position.

Voldemort twirls the Elder wand in his boney fingers, irises notably redder with frustration. “It seems Severus, I may have been misled. According to Nagini, we are at a standstill. I can not kill this boy.” Tom seemed regretful, eyes narrowing at Harry. “It seems I was capable of unintentionally gifting this boy. Haven’t you wondered Harry, why we can tap into each other so easily? How we seemed to be intertwined? You may not understand the context of Nagini’ s claims but your bright enough. I had thought maybe it was the wand, but I now its so clear. The common denominator between me, Nagini and Harry. Can you think what it can be boy?” Voldemort looks sufficiently bemused, pale lips pressing together as he coldly watched Harry and his expressions as he waits.

  
“No” Harry breaths in denial, head hanging to the left as he slumps under Severus spell, emotionally drained and in disbelief. “I cant be a Horcrux.”  
Lucius gasps in recognition, silver hues eyeing Harry wearily as Narcissa joins her husbands side. She looks exhausted and Harried, light blue eyes looking at Severus anxiously.  
“We are equals Harry. I’m no longer merely surviving, I don’t see why we both can’t live. You fulfilled what I asked of you, you came here in surrender. I’m sure we can come to some sort of agreement. A vow of sorts. Bellatrix, I think I can trust you to bind it?”


End file.
